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Post by Sojiro Kusaka on Nov 22, 2009 17:33:47 GMT -5
"Something like that can't just be forgotten... how dare you accuse me of that?!"
Cocking his head in something close to a confused bafflement he furrowed his brows and just grunted nonchalantly. "A life can be forgotten, so why not that?" In honesty the response did confuse Kusaka, of course he couldn't have forgotten, he'd had to live with those events everyday of his life for near fifty years, no matter where he looked the repercussions were right there facing him. Hitsugaya however... He was free to forget, there was nothing that tied him to those memories, he'd come out on top and lost absolutely nothing. That's how Kusaka saw it anyway. To him it was just that simple, it was as clear as night and day and nothing would change his mind on the matter. "It's simple, we all forget the ghosts in our memories that don't sway our lives~" Though again evidently toying with Toshiro he was curios, he wanted to know... And he wanted to know why he reacted so. Where he himself to cast his mind back to that day then his mood would have all to likely set itself into something more hyperaggresive, looking back on it... It was not something he'd do. This was the present, this was what mattered... Why wouldn't Toshiro have let go? It didn't mean anything to him anymore after all.
"You think this is some damned joke, do you?"
Well, no actually, despite how he acted this was hardly something that trivial to him. The thing was it was simply now his nature to act in this manner, mocking things for the simple reason being that he could. "If I do then I'm hardly laughing." The statement was far colder than his last, once more giving testament to his apparently strange mood swings. He wasn't going to explain to Hitsugaya why he seemed to regard it as such, he'd never think to explain something that even he himself refused to admit to himself. This was perhaps one of the few things that he'd not share with his old friend, instead he'd shut him out like he did everyone else. He'd seem strange, but then he no doubt already did, he was simply reinforcing the point now. He didn't care, he didn't care what others thought of him, they weren't important to him right now... All that mattered was fulfilling his goal... Actually being able to do something with what scraps of life he did have. He refused to fail this time, this time he would not have his goals ripped from him, or if they were he'd be dead before so. He refused to go through that again dammit.... Never again!
"You really have changed..."
That was a comment Kusaka didn't at all care for. It wasn't that he was in denial about it, he knew he had, it was just that... The rejection of it, he didn't like it. He obviously had no issues harming Hitsugaya, he'd proved that. But the hurt, the disappointment... The disappointment... With a feral growl Kusaka folded his arms. “I am what life made me, nothing more.” No truer words there were. Life was what formed individuals, prolonged negativity could twist individuals into something darker, no matter how strong they were. Even Hitsugaya was an example, years of being bullied had made him offhanded and cold, it was hard to gain his trust because people had cut him by judging him before knowing him... Kusaka had become an application of this. He hadn't be shunned by a few people, he'd been removed from existence itself, he couldn't even be ignored because he just wasn't there. Loneliness was a brutal feeling, it would destroy you unless you created masks and barriers to protect yourself from it. That core pain that had devoured Kusaka, it had required more than a slightly colder wall to protect himself from it, he'd had to change himself into an entirely new person. A person who held no empathy, only for the fact that such a thing would drive into him the very thing he feared. He refused to lose anything else, thus would attach himself to nothing.
Still not relaxing from the more vicious mood that had been evoked he narrowed his eyes slightly, no doubt Hitsugaya was going to come out with some load of crap about that comment, Kusaka would not allow it. “And don't bother giving me some crap about that there being more to it, or how I was better than that. Life changes us all, you should know this better than many after all.” Giving a tilt of his head he sighed, momentarily pushing back that sharp and anamalistic anger. “I mean, can you honestly say you'd be as cold as you have been for so long if people accepted you instead of shunned you?” Kusaka knew better than most that he would not have been. Unlike most people Kusaka had accepted Toshiro, pushing past all the barriers to become a good friend to him. He'd seen a side of him that he doubted many others had, by accepting him Sojiro had given enough grounds for Toshiro to show something more. He was warm on the inside, he cared so much... Perhaps to much. Had others not been so harsh there was a high chance he'd have been more open with this side of himself. Pain changed you, and to much pushed you well over the edge. You couldn't stop it.
"H-how did you get Hyorinmaru back? ...and why did you call me here?"
How indeed, well that was simple enough. “Kido,” he stated flatly, a grin once more sprawling across his features. “And a rather naïve soul reaper~” Of course he couldn't have used the kido himself, his powers had been utterly demolished, his zanpakuto shut away from him within his own mind. The utter misery of that, still, he was here now, blade beside him once more. Under normal circumstances perhaps Toshiro could have perhaps worked out the implications of his words. He'd used a soul reaper, and yet no one had known he was alive until this moment, how was that possible? There were many ways, but the death of the third party was the most efficient. Would Hitsugaya want to accept that his old friend was capable of murder though? Perhaps not. Tough luck for him, he'd have to open his eyes to what was now the sound truth. If he didn't wanted to accept it then that was his problem, but there could be no denying it this was now how things were. This was the so very painful present, this was life and it would not be changed. Kusaka would not go back to what he was, he would stay this way even if he had to die to do so.
Why had he called him? Hehe, so simple and yet so dark. "What? I'm not allowed to want to see an old friend now?" Giving a snicker he just rolled his eyes at it all, how pathetic. "What other of my dwindling rights would you like to take away whilst you're at it? My freedom to live life? No wait, that one's already gone, silly me~" It was true, all so painfully true. He didn't care how those words would effect Toshiro, he just didn't. He said what he wanted, and did as he so wished. In the end it wouldn't change anything, their friendship was shattered, it could not be fixed now... Not now... All Kusaka was doing was adding a few more cracks here and there, where was the harm in that? True it contradicted what he did feel for his old friend, but he didn't bother to put to much thought into that, it wasn't worth it... It would only end in confusion, and he needed nothing to do with that when all was said and done. Plain and simple, that's what he needed, and that's what he was giving. In his own mind anyway, frankly this was likely confusing as hell for Hitsugaya. That didn't matter though, not anymore.
"How did you know I was captain?"
Well now, that was a dumb question, evidently Hitsugaya wasn't in a state of mind where he could exactly think straight, ah well. “You're not exactly the hardest of people to find out about you know, you do kinda stand out.” In this Kusaka didn't mean in terms of appearance, even now for some reason Kusaka would not fall to that. No, it was well known that Toshiro was a child prodigy, he really wasn't that hard to gain information on. It also didn't help that he was the youngest captain to have ever been... Shaking his head angrily to dismiss the thoughts he turned his attention back to Toshiro... This topic, the more he thought on it the more he loathed it, if only for the fact it showed him everything that could have been but now never would be. “I mean, how many captains of your age are there? Word spreads on these matters~” He'd heard... Not long after it had happened he knew... The pain and anger, the utter jealousy... It had been so raw then. Again that pain had lanced through him, and again it was linked to Toshiro. It was strange how the one person he would still refrain from killing was the one person that would cause him the most pain, was there really to much mystery around why he was the way he was? If the person he still chose to trust to some degree kept twisting the sword he'd thrust into Kusaka's heart all those years ago. It was clear he perhaps didn't think things through in some cases.
"...Are you the cause of the Hollow attacks...?"
That was a question Kusaka could answer with no issues at all, to him the act no longer seemed as vile as it should have done. "Yes~" The statement was so simple and uncaring, and that was exactly his thoughts on it, he didn't care. Yes his belief was that his actions would ultimately help people, but he also felt that if people had to be sacrificed then they did, he'd do it no problem at all. "Though it was simply a diversion, and also an insurance that I could get you here." A diversion that would serve him so very well, another would take the blame, there would still only be a few who knew of Kusaka's existence, and soon there would be one at all who'd talk about it. Kusaka would see to this. "Are you done with your little interrogation, or is there more?" Though the words seemed light the way his eyes narrowed, violet casting a look of so many twisted emotions it was clear there was something over the hill... Something so very terrible, something that Hitsugaya would probably ultimately hate Kusaka for. "I do have a rather busy night planned you know~"
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Toshiro Hitsugaya
Captain
"Swinging a sword out of duty alone is what a captain must do."
Posts: 57
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Post by Toshiro Hitsugaya on Nov 23, 2009 15:31:23 GMT -5
"A life can be forgotten, so why not that? It's simple, we all forget the ghosts in our memories that don't sway our lives~"
This frustrated him more. "Because I care enough not to..." His voice was neither that of irritation or sadness, it was just flat. Not even Hitsugaya was sure why, but there was more to it, and he knew it.
Was Kusaka that set on believing that he's a dead thing? He wasn't. He was living and breathing. Yes his identity had been tarnished and destroyed, but one thing the man had to realize was that he himself had to believe he was a person. That's the only thing that should matter to him now. But apparently, it wasn't. Had he not thought of that? Apparently not, but Toshiro wasn't going to sway what couldn't be swayed. It was painfully obvious that Kusaka had become a very stubborn individual. He didn't even have to know him that well to see that. It was just sticking out. He had changed to damn much. It really hurt the youth. He never wanted to change Kusaka, nor see him change into something lower. It seemed like he degraded to a very low level. It was a pity really, but he wasn't going to shrug it off. This was not something that could be shrugged off so easily.
"If I do then I'm hardly laughing."
No matter what the subject was about, for some reason Sojiro's cold words stung him. He was not used to hearing that sort of tone used by Kusaka. To Hitsugaya, it did not sound natural. It just... once again he was finding it hard to accept this person as Kusaka. It was so painfully obviously Kusaka, but a very changed one. He did not like it. At the moment, he was actually a bit frightened. Very deep inside he was, not enough for it to actually surface or affect his mode of thinking. It was just so because well, the situation made the inner layers cringe a bit. And Kusaka's next little statement hit home. He growled slightly, though looked away from him as the words were spoken. It was true, but what was he to say? Nothing. He had no retaliation, nor did he want to. His face looked distraught. He took the hand off his wound to look at it. People were like blood. At one point, they were part of the same drop, but scattered as they hit the ground, then dry up, leaving behind something to say that someone and something had happened.
“I am what life made me, nothing more. And don't bother giving me some crap about that there being more to it, or how I was better than that. Life changes us all, you should know this better than many after all. I mean, can you honestly say you'd be as cold as you have been for so long if people accepted you instead of shunned you?”
He looked at him and place the hand back on the statue, leaving blood on there as he gripped it. "I understand that." His tone became more serious, as if he had thrown away whatever extremes he had felt before. "But there's one thing I don't." And there was. "Life can change you, I know that very well, but tell me this; Why are you coming at me as if you have a score to settle?"
As far as he was concerned, there was no score to begin with. Even during the duel to decide each others fates, Hitsugaya still didn't believe there was something he should be held against for. Was it really bad to think that there wasn't? He had a nagging suspicion Kusaka would say something along the lines of "yes", but there was no point arguing the matter. If only they could just talk this over instead of yell at each other with whatever emotion came to their heads first. It wasn't good for either of them. Hell, Toshiro was still in some state of shock, and therefore couldn't think as straight as he should. No one did while they were in such a state. It was how the mind worked, and know well enough Hitsugaya really did want to be able to think rationally, but he couldn't. He had become helpless in a sense. Helpless that he couldn't help his old friend return to the higher place he was at point. He had been reduced into something low. He frowned a saddened frown. He really didn't want to be an example. Being teased all those years really did affect him. He shut himself from anyone else and had become less trusting of others. Was it his fault? No. Psychologically, it was like a defense against all the rejection and ostracism. Perhaps this was the same with Sojiro, but he couldn't say for sure. What was he defending himself against? His thoughts were broken and his expression turned into something close to an angry face of surprise.
“Kido, and a rather naïve soul reaper~”
"Kido?" His tone sounded baffled. "There is no such Kido that could do something like that..." He wasn't an expert on Kido, but he was pretty damn sure there wasn't.
He wasn't going to ask what happened to the Soul Reaper he had mentioned. He was better off not knowing. Had he asked and heard something he didn't like, well, that would tear up Hitsugaya into smaller pieced. He really wasn't liking today. Once again, he found himself wanting to be glad for Kusaka. He had regained his powers. Good for him. With all his heart he did. But, he couldn't find the strength to feel happy. At this point, from all he was hearing, from what he was currently experiencing, he couldn't. The reasoning for regaining his powers was probably for something he didn't want to think about. For malevolent deeds, most likely. It was painfully obvious. It was written all over the damned man's face. This all hurt so much. Though with the man's next statement, the bow frowned and gave an expression of distraught. He understood why he was such a pessimist, but while he was doing that, the boy was being hurt.
"What? I'm not allowed to want to see an old friend now? What other of my dwindling rights would you like to take away whilst you're at it? My freedom to live life? No wait, that one's already gone, silly me~"
"No..." He paused to think of the words he was going t say carefully. "...no, don't lie. There's more to it and both you and I know it!" The youth's voiced raised, regaining that angered, hurt tone again. "Tell me!" His tone sounded more agonized.
If this was the Kusaka that he had known before, then, he would have just found a way to see the short Soul Reaper, but, this wasn't. This was a changed Sojiro, and therefore, this was not a valid reason for Hitsugaya. There was a larger, more worrying reason. He wanted to know. He wanted to know oh so badly. What kind of little thing was Kusaka planning? It was now eating at the youth with the intensity of locusts. He wanted to know more. He wanted to ask so much more. But what he would ask was something Sojiro would probably refrain from telling him. Well, it was worth trying? No, it wasn't. This man... had changed. He had changed much too dramatically for Hitsugaya to adapt to. To be honest, Toshiro didn't even think he'd come to accept this version of his old partner. No, he had changed for the worst.
“You're not exactly the hardest of people to find out about you know. I mean, how many captains of your age are there? Word spreads on these matters~”
Alright then. A bit of an obvious answer but okay. The boy winced slightly and he tried to shift himself to stand up straight, the wound stinging slightly as he did. He sighed and looked at the man. He felt sick in the head. It was even more agonizing to know that even looking at this man wasn't good for him. The wound didn't help either, since the more blood he lost the more lightheaded he would become. Though, the emotional pain was far greater than any laceration. They were the worst kind of wound. Unlike most physical injuries, you could so easily repair them given time. Emotional ones, well, they were tricker and oftentimes you would never recover. Hitsugaya would rather fall to being beat up and have his body broken then experience what he was experiencing. He was being beat up by both sides. And it didn't feel at all good. Far from it. And what hurt the most out of tonight so far, was that one word, followed by sickening expression.
"Yes~ Though it was simply a diversion, and also an insurance that I could get you here."
That damned "yes". It was all Hitsugaya needed to break down just a bit more. "What the hell?" His voice was rough as he growled in anger and disappointment. "Why? Do you know how many people you have possibly hurt?" His emotions were all over the place by this point. "You're better than this, you could have used another method." Had this man been someone else, the sentence would have ended with a "bastard" or some other nasty remark. But even now Hitsugaya didn't fall that low to someone who was just about that level.
There could have been so many different ways. There really could have, but obviously Kusaka didn't think of those. He seemed to have a one-tracked mind, and he wasn't liking the track he was following. This was all, so painful. To take in, to see, to here, to realize. Whether Sojiro knew it or not, this was hurting the boy so much. Had he not known better, Toshiro would have inferred that he was merely doing this all out of his own now twisted pleasure, just to see someone break down emotionally right in front of them, A sadist. But even now, the boy wasn't going to make conclusions. He wasn't quick to judge, and therefore he wasn't going to now, despite everything he was going through. He looked down at the ground. This wasn't happening. He had come for a completely different reason. He had not come prepared to experience all this. It was like a slap to a face. Not a wake-up call, but... he couldn't even describe it. He looked back up at the man, and scowled. No, now he wanted to know.
"Are you done with your little interrogation, or is there more? I do have a rather busy night planned you know~"
"Oh yeah?" He said, his mood turned into something mixed with "vile" and "distress". "What do you have planned... and don't tell me I'll have to wait." He hated that. "You will either tell me, or show me."
Out of the two emotions he was expressing, "vile" was the one that stood out the most. He was angry, and he wanted this man to cooperate with him. He had angst, and he wanted to relieve his mind of such. Both emotions were taking a toll on his over all feelings, and they were heavy. It was as his body was feeling heavy due to all this he was taking in. Had he taken in too much? It seemed like it. The captain wanted to ignore them, but he couldn't, nor didn't. It was just, so hard to make up his mind right now, it certainly was. Had Kusaka not been here, this would have been either an uneventful night or something that was beneficial to him. One of these statements were right, and one of these statements were wrong, respectively. There were a tone of events, even if it didn't seem like it, and this was totally not helping him. Sure, he had gained information he needed to, but that wasn't the point. This all, just wasn't good. And now, he was beginning to regret having Kusaka actually show him his plans. A knot tied in his gut.
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Post by Sojiro Kusaka on Nov 23, 2009 21:49:19 GMT -5
"Because I care enough not to..."
It was a lie, all one big lie... It had to be, it was the only option, the only way he could see forth. Those words could not be true! Just no... “Don't lie to me dammit!” He couldn't stand it, having his fragile emotions toyed with, he no longer wanted that, he wanted it to stop, for it to end. “You're no better than everyone else, why would you care!?” The seething anger, all the time he tried to quell it, and yet it was there, pushing at him always. He was like a cornered wolf, the hunter stood before him with the rifle ready and aimed. Yet he stood, hackles raised and fangs bared, he'd fight even either all the odds against him, he'd not be shot before he bit back... There was so much more he could really give to that comment, so many sharp retorts that would likely serve him well in pushing Hitsugaya away. The ones he had chosen though fit his mood and assumptions perfectly though, others didn't care so why did Toshiro? Others always said they cared, it was just a phrase and term to quell people's minds and make them trust you. This was just an example of that, on that Kusaka would not fall for. If he were to do so he'd cut down his own beliefs, his own theories that had become the central core to his world, it wasn't worth disrupting all of that just for one mere person, one simple person who couldn't possibly care.
"I understand that."
He... He what?
Recoiling back slightly an utterly odd expression crossed him, to say confused wouldn't be right, angry... it didn't fit either but it was certainly there... Pain though, that seemed near undeniable... How dare he... How dare he!? Throwing up a more aggressive appearance he shifted into a defensive stance, almost trying to ward off those damned words with his very actions. “ You really think so?” For a moment there was calm, and then it just ended. “Don't ever tell me you understand until you've lived my life, until you've had everything you loved taken, until you don't have anywhere to damn well turn when you're hunted day in DAY OUT! Until then don't you dare tell me you understand! You don't, you can't!” No, Hitsugaya, didn't understand, he never would... Never could... Kusaka would not allow him to even begin to think he could ever understand, it was unacceptable thought that another could understand what he could not grasp within his own life. Bastard... Shaking his head, trying to dismiss the idea it was so painfully clear those three words had unsettled Kusaka, pushed him deep into his own sea of anger. Something he was unlikely to ever be able to escape, in effect he was probably drowning in his own misery. This he could not see though.
"But there's one thing I don't. Life can change you, I know that very well, but tell me this; Why are you coming at me as if you have a score to settle?"
Refusing to answer for a moment he let the bristling anger subside somewhat. “Because I do have a score to settle.” He did, of course he did, but there was more to it than that. “But not with you.” No, not Hitsugaya... So who with then? Simple really. “Rather, those that tore us up.” Not tore me up, instead he used us, a referral to them both. No matter his anger, his contradiction, or even his pushing away of the boy... He still said us. He did still have a heart, he tried so hard to shut it up, and for the most part it worked... Yet not always. A part of him would always hold Hitsugaya close, and in a high regard... Nothing would change that. Perhaps his worry, that fear... Was that Hitsugaya would no longer feel the same. He couldn't open himself up for fear of a knife being used to destroy what heart he'd managed to save, his life... Was it really all based on that one thing? Perhaps, though it wasn't something he'd ever admit. He just didn't really know what to do, oh of course he'd brought the situation on him, but despite his sick confidence he was not in fact such. He was still uncertain. Was what he intended right? It was one thing to hurt Hitsugaya... But do that to him. Even for he it was something barbaric.. He'd be taking everything from him, was it right to put someone he'd once cared through into the same pain that had pushed him to this? Perhaps not, but it had done, didn't it...?
"Kido? There is no such Kido that could do something like that..."
This was getting very tedious very fast. "Yes kido, that's what I said didn't I?" Snorting in irritation he took a couple more steps backwards, before perching himself once more on a headstone. "And yet here I am~" The anger from before seemed to have dissipated for a time, his old mocking ringing back in. There wasn't the slightest of hints in him as to what he was, not if you didn't focus incredibly hard and know him oh so very well. "Don't think that just because you're a 'genius' others are stupid." He remembered so very well praising Hitsugaya for that trait, pointing out what was positive to try and boost his shattered confidence. That was what friends did though wasn't it? They looked out for each other and tried to make the ones they cared for feel better, Kusaka... Once he'd been good at it, he knew how to make Toshiro feel good, how to make him smile and laugh... Now he knew how to do the exact opposite. He made him feel terrible, he made him cringe... He repulsed the boy with everything he was, it now only took his mere presence to turn his stomach.
"No... no, don't lie. There's more to it and both you and I know it! Tell me!"
It wasn't all a lie... Part of it was true, he had wanted to see him again, he just... Eh, it didn't matter. "Yes, but the difference is that I know what that something is, unlike you." Frowning short after eyes narrowed as he gripped the headstone slightly. "Why? What right do you have to know? You've had nothing to do with me for so long, I don't see why I should tell you~" He didn't, and right now he wouldn't explain. Instead he simply turned his attention away, now dismissing whatever Hitsugaya was doing. His focus instead turned to everything around him, everything but the very person he had called here. For that moment he shut off his very existence, simply sitting and doing nothing, just thinking... Perhaps that was what had dug him into this hole in the first place though, over thinking. He'd had nothing to do but think, to brood on everything that had happened to him. People seemed to be under the belief that thinking was good for you, but Kusaka was a fine example of how terribly bad to much of it could be. If he hadn't thought, if he'd just shrugged it off, then things wouldn't have been so bad for him. But he was smart, and he'd thought, and he'd failed to understand... It had driven at him until he was to weak to sustain an resistance, in the end he'd welcomed the change.
"What the hell? Why? Do you know how many people you have possibly hurt? You're better than this, you could have used another method."
Rolling his eyes he muttered under his breath for a moment. “Why not?” A question with a question. Honestly, he didn't really know any more, it was all a way to the means really... “Yes, I do. However wouldn't you say the loss of a few hundred is worth saving so many more?” In Kusaka's mind it was a worth sacrifice. One life for two. At the end of the day this was now how his mind now worked, once he would have tried to save them all... But the lack of value that others showed to his life, that even he showed to it... If he couldn't value himself then how could he care for another? He couldn't he no longer knew how and it was not something he was looking to rectify. He'd revolved himself around a seeming inability to care, if he even considered doing such then he'd probably shatter and break... He needed his walls, without them he would be nothing. Without them the world would cut him up and he'd have nothing to protect him, he'd fall, he'd hurt, he'd be alone. He would not be that week again, he couldn't be. If he did then the next time someone butchered him he would break utterly, he would not be able to retain any semblance of himself a second time.
The second comment though, of how that burned him, once more Hitsugaya was presuming to know, and once more Kusaka would not stand for it. “I tried! Nothing worked, nothing at all!” He had... And it hadn't... He hadn't become this straight away, he'd hit several different stages before stabilizing into what was now seen. It was only in this one that he'd resorted to this. In every other he had tried, and each time he had failed. It was hard, he'd wanted so desperately to numb it all. But when you didn't even have the simple gift of someone to tell you it was okay there was nothing you could do, all he'd wanted was someone there... Anyone... Human or soul reaper, then he hadn't cared. He'd gotten neither though, instead he'd gotten beasts chasing him, humans shutting him away, or being devoured if they did get close. In the end he'd given up, and then things had fallen. He'd fallen to denial, then depression, then brooding... Intense aggression had come soon after. And then finally this, the combination of it all. A mix of so many emotions that he had to push down so as not to crumble.
"Oh yeah? What do you have planned... and don't tell me I'll have to wait. You will either tell me, or show me."
Ohhh, so he thought he was the one calling the shots around here? That was wrong, and Kusaka would prove such to him, if only with taunting words that would push the wronf buttons, he hardly cared. That was a thought he just kept telling himself over and over, he didn't care, he couldn't. "Fine, I won't tell you that, but either way you're only going to find out when I'm ready~" And he wasn't. It had all been well and good plotting something out, but being here faced with it... It was different somehow, he couldn't help but think that there had to be another way to ultimately gaining the same thing... Because did he really want Hitsugaya to suffer a fate much like his own? No he didn't, he didn't want to do that to him at all... But what he did want was for Hitsugaya to be by his side, through his own free will or not. Was their another way? Now he didn't know, now everything that had been so certain to him was coming unglued, he didn't know how to handle it. And more importantly he didn't know what to think.
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Toshiro Hitsugaya
Captain
"Swinging a sword out of duty alone is what a captain must do."
Posts: 57
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Post by Toshiro Hitsugaya on Nov 24, 2009 21:57:08 GMT -5
“Don't lie to me dammit! You're no better than everyone else, why would you care!?”
His words had stung him painfully. "Not everyone is the same... or thinks the same." His tone was that of a hurt one.
It was true though. Just because a group of people had the same beliefs, it in no way meant that everyone had to think the same way. Everyone was different, no matter what. Everyone was unique in their own appearance, talents, and thoughts. There was not one person that though exactly the same as someone else. They may have similar views, but they were not completely the same. It was clear that Kusaka no longer had any trust in anything, even his old friend. Perhaps... perhaps he had just considered Hitsugaya now as someone else. Someone who wasn't close to them. Just a former friend gone enemy. It was not something the youth wanted. Not ever did he think of Kusaka as someone who was just rotten to the core. Even now he didn't think that. Despite all this. Toshiro still held him close. It was hard to let go of something, even if it seems so far off.
“You really think so? Don't ever tell me you understand until you've lived my life, until you've had everything you loved taken, until you don't have anywhere to damn well turn when you're hunted day in DAY OUT! Until then don't you dare tell me you understand! You don't, you can't!”
It was clear that the subject was very sore. He said nothing more on the matter. He was obviously causing Sojiro great pain, despite the anger. The anger was what showed the pain, and he wanted nothing more than to just see him calm down again. Everything Kusaka was doing, made him feel pained. He never wanted to see him in such a state. Even during the time gap, he still didn't forget who this man was, what he was to him, his dreams, everything. He remembered it all from the past. He didn't let go of the faces he's met and have had meaning. Why? If they had meaning, they were important, and shouldn't be forgotten. He stared at the ground distraught. He didn't like the way Kusaka was thinking now. I was all so negative. He couldn't blame him though. A life such as the one he lived wasn't a very... pleasant one to say the least. And even uninvolved in the man's life, he felt some guilt. He was living a life he now felt he'd taken away from the man.
“Because I do have a score to settle. But not with you. Rather, those that tore us up.”
He should have expected that response. It was so obviously there. He expected such behavior to occur, whether this was the old Kusaka, or the new. Toshiro currently thought that Sojiro must have been wondering why he had still stayed with the Soul Society despite it all. Despite what they put them through. Despite what they were forced to do. He stayed. Did he need a reason to leave or stay? No. Was there one he could think of now? Not off the top of his head, no. And that's the reason why he felt guilty now all of a sudden. It was a subject that hadn't been brought up in so long. And now here it was, in front of him to be read. He didn't want to review the topic. It was a painful topic. he just stayed, and sooner than later he became a figure head, helping to represent what Kusaka now loathed. It wasn't his fault, was it?
“Why not? Yes, I do. However wouldn't you say the loss of a few hundred is worth saving so many more?”
It was a difficult question really. "How could you say that?" He questioned, his tone irritated once more. "Who exactly are you 'saving'?"
It was a curious question as well. What was he thinking? In the past, it had been so much easier to decipher what he would be thinking, but now it was all cryptic. It was much harder to figure out what he was thinking. Perhaps, it was better off he didn't know. In all reality, the more he discovered and figured out, the more all this was hurting him. Damn it, did today really have to be for all this ill-feelings? Why today out of all times? Actually, a better question would be, why any day? This had all come so sudden. He didn't expect any this. Kusaka seemed like he did, which was the part that made him quite angry about it to. Damn it, so many emotions, and he didn't even know which ones were proper for the situation. It was all, ugh. It was more than frustrating. Hell it was even more than irritating or saddening. It was just... he couldn't describe.
"Yes kido, that's what I said didn't I? And yet here I am~ Don't think that just because you're a 'genius' others are stupid."
"I never thought that." His voice had become flat then, and he hadn't known why.
Not once had he thought of another as something lower because of his own talents or gifts. He was not vain or conceited. He never even thought about it. It wasn't that he was modest. Just the simple fact that he thought others were equals or superior. Never below that. He was still young, and had a lot to learn. He knew this oh so very well. No matter how old he tried to act, he knew this deep inside. As for the Kido, well, he wasn't entirely sure if that was the case or not. He was pretty damn sure there wasn't a Kido that was able to do that. If there was, well, those who have had their powers removed would all have been freed of the spell and regained them. It didn't make much sense. The youth figured something else had something to do with it, but didn't rule out the Kido completely. There was always a possibility.
"Yes, but the difference is that I know what that something is, unlike you. Why? What right do you have to know? You've had nothing to do with me for so long, I don't see why I should tell you~"
"That's a lie." He said, his tone both angered and somewhat saddened. "Unless you've really forgotten about me, I am still associated with you." He paused. "Besides, you attacked me. I deserve the right to be told."
He wasn't trying to force it out of Kusaka either. He just wanted the man to calm down. With him in such a strange pattern of moves it was hard to decipher what his next outlash would be. It was both annoying, and it stung him. He didn't know what he wanted right now. He didn't know if he wanted to know or not. The truth would hurt him probably, so the best way to hide from it was to ignore it was there and just not ask. But at the same time, he wanted to know what was going on in Sojiro's mind, and wanted to know what was going on with everything. He knew the truth now that this man was the reason of all these Hollow attacks, but,there was so much more he wanted to know. He wanted to know the reasoning behind all this. Kusaka was giving answers, but he wasn't showing the depth.
“I tried! Nothing worked, nothing at all!”
That's what they all said. But it was clear it was not a matter that should be pressed on any longer. He wanted to keep Sojiro calm, to keep him from attacking again. Hitsugaya had dropped his sword, and he wasn't reaching for it. There was no need. But in this point, he knew that Kusaka wasn't the most predictable person either. Now he had to really re-study his behavior in order to do something like that again. It had taken a long time for Toshiro to open up to Kusaka, and now he closed himself off to this man. He wasn't' going to open up again unless he could see that he really was the same Kusaka he had once known all the way through, not just what he showed in the surface. What was out on the surface was the facade that was most easily changed. What was inside were the true feelings; they were rarely changed, and if someone tried to, it was difficult. The boy had only wished that he hadn't changed that much.
"Fine, I won't tell you that, but either way you're only going to find out when I'm ready~"
"When will you be ready?" He said, his voice toned down, still audible, but quieter.
Not that he was afraid of asking, but more of the fact that he didn't want Kusaka to wait any longer. Toshiro wanted to know, or see now. He wanted to see something relevant to his plans. He wanted to see, and then stop it. That was his plan. If it included harming other people, he would stop him. It wad evident that Sojiro did not think the same as he once did. He seemed vile, something close to evil now. But even then, Hitsugaya would not kill him. He would not. Even now this man was still his friend. The relationship was torn up, but it was still tangling by a small piece. Hopefully it was a strong section. Hitsugaya's wound bled out more. He became a bit more lightheaded. As long as he didn't move much more, he was fine. But if he had to move more, he was going to be in a bit of trouble. Damn it all.
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Post by Sojiro Kusaka on Nov 25, 2009 12:18:52 GMT -5
"Not everyone is the same... or thinks the same."
Not the same? Sojiro couldn't and wouldn't believe it, he just wouldn't. “You're all the same, deep down each and every damn one of you is the same, none care, they always forget and leave you alone!” They were weren't they? In their core every last one had been the same, if not in thoughts then in actions. Every single one... Yes... They were. They'd all forgotten him, so wasn't that the same? Yes, had they been different he would not have been disregarded like some lamed horse that could no longer race. His existence had been shot, if Toshiro had at all cared then they wouldn't have been here now... He didn't mean in the events that had decided their fates, rather everything after that... He hadn't even looked, he hadn't cared... Sojiro had always stood by Hitsugaya, he'd made sure he was there when he was needed, when people had put him down he'd make god damn sure to lift him up. But when Kusaka had needed Hitsugaya the most... The one time in his life he really honestly needed someone... He'd been left... Abandoned with nothing... That hurt, the utter loss.... Even now, to think that his own best friend had done that... There was no trust in the world, no good... There was only betrayal and a dark vileness. It was the only explanation.
After that he just stayed silent, the young boy simply said nothing to Kusaka's words. What, was he not even worth the waste of breath anymore? Was he honestly that worthless...? There couldn't have been another option, he really was nothing wasn't he...? Folding his arms his head dropped to his chest. He didn't think he was worthless, it was a detail he'd been adamant on, something he'd contest if anyone were to say it. Yet with the simple action of saying nothing the cold truth that was hardly actually a fact was shoved in his face. Perhaps he was that, the thing he'd always tried not to be. If he was disregarded by even Hitsugaya, well, what hope was there for him in the end? None, he'd lived with so much hope that this one person would have regarded him as something, instead... Shutting down his thoughts as he'd so long ago learned to master utterly he pushed the thoughts down, allowing them to just collect with all others. How much more would it take before the dam to his feelings did in fact break? In such a short time it was already nearly overflowing with such terrible feelings, how long would it be until the wall broke and he was destroyed by his own fears?
"How could you say that? Who exactly are you 'saving'?"
He only wanted to know so he could stop him, damn him. Kusaka could explain, and a part of him would hope and expect for him to understand, but he wouldn't. He'd call Kusaka a monster, like so many others Toshiro would just regard him as some stray dog that had bitten back one to many times. He was a monster no doubt, he'd say it aloud if he had to, but inside he'd thrum all the wrong cords. Get past that burning anger and then there was just that agonized boy, words, he took them all in and mulled them over, looking at them and pulling the worst possible solution, it was just what he did. “What do the words of something like me matter? I'm just a memory after all. So far as every other is concerned I don't exist~” It was true. His words should hold no meaning simply because they shouldn't exist, what he couldn't get though his head was the fact he was a person, not an object, not some beast, a real person that mattered just as much as any other. It was just... When no one thought he mattered, thought you even existed... Well you started to think... What if... What if they were right, what if you were just something wrong, something to be pushed away? You started to believe them, over the course of fifty years this was just what had happened. “Everyone else.” Blunt and to the point, this was his goal .
"That's a lie. Unless you've really forgotten about me, I am still associated with you. Besides, you attacked me. I deserve the right to be told."
No, it really wasn't, not to Kusaka anyway. To Kusaka it was the truth. “If it's such a lie then tell me where you were when I needed you, because it certainly wasn't here!” He'd been burnt, he'd been so badly burnt and he couldn't heal the wounds. Every movement tore them wider, every thought added more salt, he was in utter agony, he'd lived with it for so damn long. There was so much pain, so very much pain that he couldn't sooth, he was learning to accept it of course, given a few more years this black mask of his would likely be complete, everything he once was shut down inside him to hide his own weakness. “Tell me where you were Hitsugaya! When your friend needed you, when you were all there was and you still weren't there... WHERE WERE YOU?!” It was a question to answer, he wanted to know, he had to know... If you look hard enough and the raw emotions seen were the very cause to his current state. He'd been abandoned, by the person he'd thought of as a brother he'd been shunned and left to die such a terrible death. It had broken him plain and simple. He hadn't been lying, Hitsugaya had left him in the dark... And now had the raw nerve to say Kusaka had forgotten him? With a defensive sneer he shook his head, emotions panging in so many strange ways.
“How could I forget someone comparable to family, hm?” His tone seemed to have calmed again somewhat, though below it all there was that anger, it was inescapable. The words selected were careful, despite what it may have seemed. They weren't chosen to hurt Hitsugaya, though they may have done, they were chosen to display his point but hide his uncertainty. He neither used a past or present tense, covering the fact he was no longer sure if he still thought of Hitsugaya as such. He still cared so much for him, but... He was no longer sure to what degree. Caring... Compassion... It felt so strange to him, it was a foreign emotion he didn't understand. Was it wrong? Wrong to care? It felt it, it was something he couldn't grasp and didn't know how to deal with. “You say you are still associated with me, partner?” And now his tone was blank, a stone slate unblemished by the emotions in its core. The reference to Hitsugaya, it wasn't mocking, loathing, or even goading. It was presented there was a fact, one Kusaka was still trying to understand himself. “You're saying you're still my partner, my ally... My friend? What gives you that right?!” His contradiction was so perfectly blaring, calling him by something that indicated just what Hitsugaya had said to be true, and then countering it with an angered disagreement to it. This was his bane, this was his confusion.
Shifting his position he just sighed, rights? Who was Hitsugaya to speak about such? He was a damn captain, he had all the freedom he could ever want in life, who the hell was he to debate about rights when he had everything?! “We never understand everything, even when something we hate happens!” Perhaps subconsciously speaking more than intended the seething anger tore furiously at anything that still held their relations together. Dammit he just didn't want to care, it all made this so hard! This was why he'd become such a monster, he'd done it so as not to suffer this. Was it really that hard for him to escape his past? Why was it still there?! He'd done everything, closed himself off and hidden his heart, what did he have to do to make this all stop? Destroy his heart...? He didn't want to... He... He just didn't want to do that! Why should he have to lose even more, it wasn't fair, he didn't deserve that! Why... Wasn't what he'd already given enough? He didn't have much more he could give! Fucking cruel world. With a low growl he simply listened as Hitsugaya once more spoke.
"When will you be ready?"
When would he... He didn't know, he never would be would he? Was he ever really ready for anything? He didn't know, he was confused, he had to do something, he had to make all of this worth it, but was this the right course of things? Barring his teeth in an incredibly vicious sneering snarl he thought, and twisted himself in further knots. This was meant to be simple, all he had to do was bring Hitsugaya here, force him down, and from there Kusaka could break the boy utterly.... Yet now he was here and faced with it things were so different, he hadn't counted on this, this was hard and the confusion was pissing him right off. He had to do something soon, now or never. There was no doubt that if he did nothing Hitsugaya would arrest him or something, Kusaka was just a villain to him now, someone to be stopped. If he let him go he'd never have this chance again, he couldn't let this all come to nothing, he had to do something... He'd dug a hole for himself and now he had to get out of it again, the only way to do so... Was perhaps the worst way any could imagine. It was his only option, he was backed in and there was no turning back, there could be only one solution. He would not regret it.... Not on the outside.
Pouncing forward his eyes narrowed with malicious intent, game set and match... Letting a sneer cover his face, perfectly hiding all uncertainty and regret he shot out a hand, aiming to grab Hitsugaya by the neck. If he were to his grip would tighten somewhat, not enough to cut off air, but certainly enough to keep him held. He'd lift him, pulling his feet from the ground, and once more force him hard against the statue. “Who can say? It was simple, a fact so very true, he would never be ready. “But now's as good a time as any I suppose~” First he'd reason, he'd never do this without first giving an offer, it would mean so much to him if his young friend were to agree... He wouldn't. “You want to know what I intend? Very well then. My goal is simple, destroy the central 46 and the current system it has, nothing more, and nothing less.” His grudge wasn't with the others, they'd forgotten him, but they too had been mislead by those bastards. Kusaka would stop it happening, never again would anyone suffer what he and Hitsugaya had, their system was to unjust and Kusaka would stop it. Though of course his system of justice was hardly any better.
With a perfectly bitter face the only thing that betrayed him were those violet eyes, the regret was already showing, welling up to deafening levels, damn this. “I'll give you two choices, but either way the result will be the same... One of them though will be far easier for you~” Take it. “Join me of your own free will and help me cut down those that stood in our way, or do it without consent... The latter option isn't something you'll like~” He'd lose everything, he'd have nowhere to turn... Say to Kusaka. Even then the form of manipulation Kusaka would have would be something near unbreakable. He'd destroy what semblance of a bond they had, it had to be done... “It would be smart to chose the first option.” And there he would leave it, he would wait for the response and hope it was the right one. Long ago though he'd learned hope was a fickle thing, Hitsugaya would call him mad and close down to him, then have his life tipped over. At least though he'd not be alone, Kusaka had no intention of doing it and just walking away, most the opposite. He'd keep him close...
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Toshiro Hitsugaya
Captain
"Swinging a sword out of duty alone is what a captain must do."
Posts: 57
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Post by Toshiro Hitsugaya on Nov 26, 2009 11:18:52 GMT -5
The comments that had been thrown at him. They all had some sort of sting to it. He couldn't find a way to respond to them all. But, he had not desired to. To do so would only worsen Kusaka's mood. He did not want that. He did not want to cause his friend pain. Even by the looks of things, Kusaka didn't regard him as such anymore. It didn't seem like it. And to see it tore the boy apart. He hated seeing that kind of change. It was a change for the worse. It wasn't a pleasant sight to say the least. And pain rang through him one more. The wound began to sting slightly. He sucked in air through his teeth, a hissed tone in pain escaped. Had the emotional attacks been real physical ones, the injuries would have been fatal, and he would be on the floor dying right now. No matter what, he tried to keep his composure. But the next few lines made him crash and burn to very hard. He closed his eyes and hung his head down. It wasn't his fault...
“If it's such a lie then tell me where you were when I needed you, because it certainly wasn't here! Tell me where you were Hitsugaya! When your friend needed you, when you were all there was and you still weren't there... WHERE WERE YOU?!”
That was the most painful thing he had said all night so far. "I didn't have a choice!" he yelled to, emotion rang through his tone. "When you left, I had to stay! They made me move on!"
He felt pressured. He felt like the reason Sojiro was the way he was now because Hitsugaya lacked the ability to stay by Kusaka's side. It wasn't his fault, it wasn't. He was so young, younger than he was now. His first instinct was to stay where he was safe, and he did. He stayed in the Soul Society. But not having anyone else, he was forced to move on and just serve the Guard Squads. He had done it without the support of Kusaka. He had done it all by himself with no help at all. But Toshiro never forgot. Sojiro was always there in his head, but this wasn't a very prominent thought. It took the backseat. It almost never surfaced to be thought about. Perhaps he was guilty of that. He was guilty for not thinking about Kusaka very often, or even wondering where he was. Oh, he wondered, but not as much as he should. He didn't care as much as he used to, and now he was regretting it all. It was all coming back like a giant wave, smacking you into the hard ground, leaving you stranded.
"How could I forget someone comparable to family, hm? You say you are still associated with me, partner? You're saying you're still my partner, my ally... My friend? What gives you that right?!”
"Everything." His tone was bland, but not completely. There was still that hurt tone within it. "I may have not been there with you, but as long as you had the feeling of it, then it shouldn't matter. I was there, but you never noticed it."
That was the best way he could word it. He really wished that at least Kusaka thought about him when he felt like no one was there. In spirit, to say the least. In his heart. It seemed though, that Kusaka had not. He had not taken this into consideration. The thought in itself hurt. Damn it, this just wasn't his night. Hitsugaya had become something like a punching bag. A punching bag would take blow after blow, yet still retain its shape. But after a while, after so much abuse,the tough fabric begins to rip. Continuation of the damage, the rips will become larger until sand began to spill out little by little, until eventually, it all just broke. The fabric ripped apart and half of it fell, sand just fell out literally. Hitsugaya tried to retain a good composure. He tried to keep himself from being broken apart, but there were just some things you couldn't avoid, no matter how hard you tried, there was always that one obstacle that was impossible to overcome. Emotion.
Though the verbal attacks were ditched. Before Hitsugaya could react, his neck was caught in Kusaka's cold grasp. His hands immediately latched on to Kusaka's and his fingers crawled to his fingers, trying to pry off the man's grip. Once more, Hitsugaya found himself smacked against the statue. He gasp escaped his mouth and his gash spilled out a considerable amount of blood. Damn it... what was he thinking. One eye had closed out of wincing, and the other one barely stayed open. Instinctively, he kicked out hard t Kusaka's chest. One kick. What was he thinking damn it? He shook his head as if to wiggle his way out. But there was no use. Though it didn't mean he had to stop trying. Had he reacted quick enough, he could have grabbed Hyorinmaru, which stil lay on the ground, bloodied hilt and all. He was hurting all over, physically and mentally. His being was just in pain. Kusaka was making it all worse. He hated the feeling, but even then, he still retained a bond to Kusaka. He would not let it break so easily. He listened to what Kusaka had to say for a moment.
“Who can say? But now's as good a time as any I suppose~ You want to know what I intend? Very well then. My goal is simple, destroy the Central 46 and the current system it has, nothing more, and nothing less.”
Expected, but it wasn't something he thought of off the top of his head. "...But... what... do I have... to do with this?" It was hard to talk when someone had you in a choke hold of sorts, but even then, the boy was determined to let his thoughts he heard. "Don't... make me... part of your... grudge...!"
It had been expected. It was a possibility this had been the reason. Hitsugaya didn't want to be a part of Kusaka's grudge. This plan was something terroristic towards the Soul Society. It was Toshiro's duty to arrest these terrorists and bring them to justice. But as much as he had to do so, he couldn't bring himself to come to that realization. He knew that now e had to indefinitely arrest this man, but, he knew when he was going to be faced with it, he would not be able to. This man was his friend. Even now, despite this weird hell this "friend" was putting him through, the bond was still there. Maybe Sojiro had disposed of it already, but the boy wasn't. He wasn't going to let it break so easily. He didn't want to loose someone like that, and now that he saw the man again, he didn't want to loose him again. Trying to apply his feet to Kusaka's chest, Hitsugaya would push out to try and get the man off of him. Everything was hurting, all over, it hurt. He wanted to free himself off the pain, at least the physical pain being inflicted on his body. Though, he would stop to hear what Kusaka said next. The choices.
“I'll give you two choices, but either way the result will be the same... One of them though will be far easier for you~ Join me of your own free will and help me cut down those that stood in our way, or do it without consent... The latter option isn't something you'll like~ It would be smart to chose the first option.”
"...I can't do that..." He said, his voice stern yet held some disappointment. "Your intentions... are not... rational..." He pause. "I don't like the first... option either... do don't give me... a choice...! I'll just say no..." He struggled a bit more. "...so don't... bother asking!"
He could not side with him. As much as he wanted to be with his friend again, he could not aid with such a plight. It was illegal, and just plain wrong. Sure, Central 46 was corrupt, he knew first hand, but what was he to do? Every government had it's ups and downs. All of them were corrupt. It was an inherit trait between governing bodies. No matter how hard you tried to make it perfect, it wasn't. It would always backfire some how some way. Even if they aren't so easily seen, they're there. You just have to look hard. But now, Hitsugaya was rather torn. He couldn't abandon his duty, and he couldn't abandon his friend. What the hell? He shouldn't be faced with such choices at this stage in life. Hell, he was still rather prepubescent. But, he had faced so much no one his age would ever encounter. He wanted Kusaka to let go. His hand represented the pain and emotions. They were strangling him. He wanted to be set free.
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Post by Sojiro Kusaka on Nov 26, 2009 22:00:07 GMT -5
"I didn't have a choice! When you left, I had to stay! They made me move on!"
Those words stung, they hurt so damn much... Move on... “So moving on means you stop caring then? The definition must have changed since last I knew!” Somewhere along the lines things had changed. Changed for the worst. ”You let them though dammit! You let them and thought it was all well and fine!” Once he'd have told Hitsugaya he'd done the right thing, dwelling on something like that... It would have torn him up, yet now his own pain took presidency, for Hitsugaya to move on whilst Kusaka never could. Everything Toshiro had Kusaka did not, every step forward the young captain took the banished soul reaper was pushed back two. He could never win, never gain any ground, he was in effect doomed to fail whilst Hitsugaya succeeded, how painful that was... Their abilities were so similar, to Kusaka it was like looking at everything he could have had, could have been... He could deal with that now though... Just not the utter rejection Hitsugaya was showing him, that was something that pushed on him all to hard, it was once more going to drive him off the edge, and that he didn't want. He wanted a solid footing from which to walk on, yet all he got was a cracked pathway long forgotten, he was destined to walk ot alone... To live alone... To die alone... He was always to be alone, so very alone, and that he hated. He grudged the world for it, he'd done nothing to deserve this, nothing... Yet here he was, cold and twisted. How simply beautiful things now were.
"Everything. I may have not been there with you, but as long as you had the feeling of it, then it shouldn't matter. I was there, but you never noticed it."
How could he say that? How could he think that in a world like this that would ever be enough?! “The feeling of it? Memories do no good to those who don't even have their soul with them!” His soul... Zanpakuto... Hyorinmaru had been segregated from him, a part of himself had actually been lost, they say loneliness wasn't so bad with the memories in your heart.... But when you'd had a part of your heart stolen how did you deal? Kusaka had needed someone, even though he'd always been the one to offer the aid Kusaka was no doubt the mentally weaker of the two. It was all well and good for Hitsugaya to say those words, but Kusaka was not Hitsugaya... And he'd just been so alone, so damn scared, he was barely more than a child then, he wasn't adapted for having everything ripped from him and then been left to fend for himself... He'd noticed his memories... The friendship... But that made it hurt all the more. Memories could not pick you up when you were pinned to the ground, they could not help you with the wounds you gained, they couldn't tell you it was okay... That somehow everything would be alright... Kusaka had so badly needed those things, he'd needed to know that despite everything he'd be okay, and yet it had all been deprived of him. And then Hitsugaya presumed to tell him that memories and the such were enough, that he'd never noticed. He had... But he'd wished so hard that he hadn't. “You don't understand at all!” His voice a cold snapping. “What good are fickle memories?! They can't help you when you need it, only remind you of the past!” And his was painful, he didn't want that...
As fingers scrabbled against his hand, no doubt trying to pull him away, he simple kept hold, refusing to look at the blood no doubt been smeared across him. He now had Hitsugaya's blood on his hands it seemed, what a thought... Not one he'd have thought he'd been having, yet one he simply chose not to dwell on. Like the grimaces and the hisses of pain it was shut out, one thing he could not shut out was the sharp kick to his chest that effectively winded him, leaving him to gasp suddenly, partially through shock too. Oh he knew it was just instinct, right now Hitsugaya was cornered and so his overriding order was to survive, but Kusaka cared little. With a look reminiscent to a dog that had been kicked one last time to many he growled. “Satisfied?” His voice barely a lancing hiss he reached out his free hand, intending to grab his young friend's wrist. If done he'd pull his hand toward him, forcing the boy's hand on his chest... Above his heart. “When you wish to kill me once more do not forget where my heart once was, that is where you must drive Hiyorinmaru.” Deceptively calm there was a stoniness to him this time, a blunt coldness that wrapped around and ensnared all warmth utterly. Releasing his grip the anger was clear. Hitsugaya was just like every other, with that one strike he'd proven it so clearly. Toshiro considered him an enemy, nothing more.
"...But... what... do I have... to do with this? Don't... make me... part of your... grudge...!"
Rolling his eyes he just huffed, giving a slight squeeze to the boy's neck to shut him up. “It has everything to do with you.” Then again so did near all else in Kusaka's life, it was a painful thought, and this was perhaps why his sense of betrayal was so deep. His life had been changed in events linked to Hitsugaya, he'd been one of the few friends Kusaka honestly cared so very deeply. In a way so much had been focused on Hitsugaya, that was just why this all wounded the blackened soul so deeply. To the second portion of the whole little speech Kusaka simply didn't respond, there was no need. He was going to do what he was going to do regardless, nothing Hitsugaya could say would sway this unless it was an agreement to help of his own free will. Besides which all his forth coming words just but it all so clearly in perspective. He'd seem mad, so painfully crazy, just some feral monster who needed to be thrown back in his cage and lock up, the key being disposed off. That wasn't something he cared for, just as long as he kept telling himself that he was fine. As feet came to his chest once more he refused to let go, he would not... He was fine.
"...I can't do that... Your intentions... are not... rational... I don't like the first... option either... do don't give me... a choice...! I'll just say no... so don't... bother asking!"
His grip slackened slightly and his eyes dropped as he just sighed, that wasn't the answer he'd wanted... It really wasn't what he'd wanted.... But he rarely seemed to get as he wanted, he'd simply have to accept what he'd been given. “Then I'm sorry.” It was perhaps on of the most genuine things he'd spoken for many years, anger sedated for the shortest of moments before he looked back, face a somber look that was soon turned back to a customary frown, eyebrows turned down giving his eyes a whole new perspective on the world. A terrible one. “Don't say I didn't warn you now~” Again the malicious edge crept back in utterly dominating Sojiro. “Let me tell you something, something you don't know about me,” with a chuckle his grip once more tightened as he ignored any and all struggling from Toshiro. “I can control hollows, bend them to do as I wish without use of anything... It was a shock at first I suppose~” Was it natural? Yes, no, he honestly didn't know. Perhaps it was something developed as a defense, or perhaps it had always been there... Kusaka didn't know. “Don't you wonder how I'd have you join me? I did say either way it would happen.” Clues within facts, he wasn't so sure that the boy would get it to start with, and if that were so by the time he did it would all be far to late for him.
Reaching his free hand back slightly into a pocket hidden within the black folds of his clothing he for once made no comment until his hand wrapped around what it was he sought. “Here you die Hitsugaya.... Not in the literal sense of course.” Kusaka couldn't, despite it all he'd never kill Toshiro... Finish what had been started... But kill... He didn't want to. “You said you understood, now you really will. Though I fear it will be through your choice, you could return... But they would most certainly kill you.” There surprisingly wasn't a sadistic amusement to his voice, now it was simply matter of fact.... And the fact was he was stalling. He didn't freaking want to do this dammit! There was no choice though, that was the thought he kept telling himself to try and rationalize this. Pulling his hand back around he held the object flat out on his palm, displaying the small object perfectly despite the darkness and the fog surrounding. “This is why I brought you here Hitsugaya.” With a flick he bounced it off his palm, nimbly catching the thing between two fingers. He had no choice...
If Toshiro grabbed for it then the grip on his neck would tighten, hopefully getting the instinctive response of trying to push Kusaka's hand off his neck. If the boy didn't then there would be no action, say for all that was to follow, all that would destroy Hitsugaya... He had no choice...... Closing his eyes for a moment he exhaled, a chilled condensation taking his breath, one hardly caused by the atmosphere. Shortly after his pressure shifted, from a wisp it became an absolute torrent, something that would force any lesser to their knees. Shortly thereafter the small object started giving off an odd glow coming to it as it apparently leached from Kusaka's powers. “It won't hurt.” Not to start with... But he had no choice... He wouldn't... Bah, there was no other way so may as well finish this damn thing! Giving a frustrated snarl energy spiked within the orb and then there was a startling flash. It was done... And he hated himself. But he'd had no choice, he'd never had a choice. Letting go of Toshiro his pressure once more fell to nothing as he backed up, pocketing the sphere again. Stepping back further he folded his arms... How long would it take... How long until... Shaking his head he rubbed his forehead with the ball of his hand, he'd not wanted this, dammit... He'd had no choice...! Had he...? What if there was another way...? He'd had a choice hadn't he.... There had always been a choice...
What had he done? He couldn't regret it, he wouldn't show it dammit!
Ooc:// ACK bad, sorry -half asleep- >_0
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Toshiro Hitsugaya
Captain
"Swinging a sword out of duty alone is what a captain must do."
Posts: 57
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Post by Toshiro Hitsugaya on Nov 27, 2009 18:35:20 GMT -5
“Satisfied?"
He opened both eyes at him, air escaping through his clenched teeth, somewhat of a hissing noise emitting. No, he wasn't, and kicking Kusaka the way he did was not something he wanted to do. In fact it was the last thing he wanted to do. But he could not stop his reflex. His mind was currently in a mode in which he needed to do anything to live through this. He was loosing blood, becoming lightheaded; much more and he could possibly die. He was too young to loose his life, and he did not want to loose it to his friend. Damn, this was all to much to take in. To see the aggression he was displaying, it broke his heart. He didn't want any or it. He wanted to leave. He was beginning to regret taking this whole mission so lightly. But who could blame him? It wasn't his fault that he didn't expect to see someone like Sojiro to come out of nowhere and totally tear apart your world. He was so young, and already had to go through this. Terrible. His wrist was grabbed and he just let him. Though a saddened grimace became etched on his face as his hand was placed on the man's chest by force. His words stung more than the pain he had endured.
"When you wish to kill me once more do not forget where my heart once was, that is where you must drive Hyorinmaru.”
"Kusaka..." He whispered to himself, his tone agonized once more.
He didn't want to harm Kusaka! Where the hell was he getting this sort of thoughts? It was killing him, it really was. He took his hand back and still tried to pry away the black-haired man's fingers. He wanted him to just get off and leave him alone. The boy wanted to be alone. He wanted to reject this man. But at the same time, he wanted to be by Sojiro's side again, like they were back at the academy. But all this change, it was screwing with his mind. he trashed his head in hopes it will loosen the man's grip. But it wasn't proving to get him anywhere. This man was choking him, and he didn't even need to lay a hand on him. His grip was just adding to the already suffocating emotions and thoughts and words. It all added up. And it added up to the worst of things. He hated this. he loathed this. But he couldn't hate himself, or anyone. This was the way their lives have become. He had to reap what was coming for him, but he didn't want to be faced with it. He'd rather deal with so much else. But he did not want to deal with this. This was the epitome of what he had feared would happen for all these years. He did not want this.
“It has everything to do with you.”
"You... you said... I was absent from your life..." He said, even if the grip around his neck was tighter, he still spoke despite it all. "You said... I had no right... so why... w-hy bring me back into your life?"
He knew Kusaka wouldn't tell him squat. The boy wanted to know what Kusaka was feeling. He wanted to help him. He wanted to help him get through this. He wanted to make up for all those years he had to live without the youth. Despite it all, Hitsugaya still wanted to help Sojiro. He wanted to help him get through this. It was all so hard. Despite all the pain he was being put through, despite it all, he still wanted to help. He wanted to help Kusaka become that better person he was again. He couldn't bare to see Kusaka like this. He wanted to know why Sojiro was doing this all. He just wanted to help, like a friend. He wanted to Kusaka to just let him. Damn it. Why did it have to be like this. Why? He didn't want to be faced with this sort of dilemma. He didn't know what to do, or say, or anything really. He felt horrible, terrible. All of it. He didn't like it. He wanted so much from this man that he most probably wasn't going to get. Damn it all... really. If only... he didn't have to resort to all this...
“Then I'm sorry. Don't say I didn't warn you now~”
What the hell was he talking about? He wouldn't dare attack him again, would he? That would be pretty low to attack him when he was pinned and defenseless. He merely have him an angry look with gritted teeth as the grip loosened somewhat. He struggled more. What was he going to do? In all honesty, Hitsugaya wanted to know it all. He didn't want to be left in the dark, especially if it was going to affect his life. This was going to towards a great extent, he just knew it. If this was so, he wanted to know. It wasn't right. But Kusaka gave out a clue. He thought about it while in his grasp. What did the control of Hollows have to do with him? Yes, Hitsugaya was a Soul Reaper, but, what really did it all have to do with him. He thought about it while still looking at the man straight in the eye. His facade could now mask the emotion in those violet eyes. What was he planning...?
“Let me tell you something, something you don't know about me. I can control hollows, bend them to do as I wish without use of anything... It was a shock at first I suppose~ Don't you wonder how I'd have you join me? I did say either way it would happen.”
He just gave him some dumbfounded look. What...? How could he? He must have found a spell or something to make the Hollows follow him so willingly. That is why they were so organized. he had bent them to follow his orders and acted accordingly. It made sense, but still, what did his control of Hollows have to do with the captain. He was not a Hollow, so it shouldn't matter, should it? At least now he knew why the Hollows obeyed him, but he didn't state "how" exactly. It was probably just best to leave it at that. He didn't think it mattered. Kusaka probably wouldn't think it was something that should be revealed anyways. But... what was Kusaka doing...? His green eyes followed the man's hands, only to see them pull out a small orb, now in his hand. This must be relevant to his plans! He freed a hand and reached for the orb, but the man's grip tightened and he yelped. His hand returned to the man's and began trying to pull his fingers out of the tight grip. His eyes closed in a wince, but once more opened wide eyed at his words. He kicked out is leg again. He didn't like the sound of it, literal or not.
“Here you die Hitsugaya.... Not in the literal sense of course. You said you understood, now you really will. Though I fear it will be through your choice, you could return... But they would most certainly kill you. This is why I brought you here Hitsugaya.”
The orb was why...? What did that have to do with him. He tried to push Kusaka away with his foot, but he had a feeling it wouldn't work. All the struggling was now taking its toll, and his wound began to sting and bleed slightly again. Damn it... He gritted his teeth. This wasn't going to well. Though he widened his eyes when Kusaka's spiritual pressure began to rise. After which, he looked at him with some shocked expression. He didn't think his spiritual pressure could be so high.... He expected it to be high, but, not to this extent. But as his levels rose, so did the one within the orb, which began to take this strange glow. The power from it, it was so great, yet, there was something so strange about it that he couldn't place. Kusaka's words weren't reassuring, even when they should be. Though some strange sensation wrapped around the boy that he couldn't place. What the hell was going on with his own spiritual pressure?
“It won't hurt."
Sojiro's pressure began to rise, and the power of the sphere began to increase as well. Its power felt like it was constricting the youth. It felt so weird. What the hell was going on?! What was this thing? Where did Kusaka get this damned thing? More questions began to arise, but he knew he would not have the chance to ask them all. Kusaka wouldn't answer them, he just had that annoying feeling. Oh how that man changed so much. And then, an unusual flash filled the space around them. The fog was not phased. It just made the flash all the more brighter. It was at that moment the Toshiro could swear his soul divided once more, like how his zanpakuto divided from him, except, he couldn't see the split. He could only feel it. But something else was there now. He couldn't see it, but he damn well felt it. Sojiro dropped him and stepped away from him. What the hell? What was the purpose of all that? He flopped to the ground and slowly stood. Oddly enough his wound had stopped bleeding, but it place the sting was still there in proportion to how much he was moving. He lifted himself from the from the ground looked at Kusaka, his expression full of all sorts of emotions. His expression showed a confused, irritated, and tired expression. His stance wasn't all to well. He had long lost his composure. Though something itched in his throat. He coughed slightly.
"What was..." He coughed again, he used his elbow to cover it. What was that about?" He coughed a bit more this time. What the hell? How could he suddenly catch an illness so quickly?
He thought this was all stupid. He looked beside him and grabbed Hyorinmaru once more. He held it by his side once more. There were two of the same. Only difference between the one Kusaka held and the one Hitsugaya owned were the cross guards and the color of the ice that they produced. His eyes might be adding to his mutual, serious expression, but his eyes were filled with a saddened and confused expression. He wanted Kusaka to just calm down and let him in. He wanted to help this man. But before another thought could cross his mind he turned his head and started cough again, much more intensely this time. This was slowly becoming more of a fit. And it had. It had become one, and he coughed and hacked rather violently now. What the hell... was it because of that orb? The pain, it was becoming worse and worse with every fit he had. It burned, so had.
He fell to his knees and covered his face as he continued to cough violently. What the hell! He was trying to kill him. Slowly, but surely, he was. It won't hurt my ass. This was worse than the gash. Though the gash didn't bleed blood anymore. It began to ooze this strange white... substance. Hitsugaya didn't take notice of it, but it was. He could feel something leaving his body. But the substance didn't just ooze out, it leaked out and then began to spread itself outside of the gash. He could feel, his own spiritual pressure was changing so much. It was becoming something he... he didn't know what it was. It was a mix between his own and something else. He couldn't think clearly anymore. Everything was becoming clouded. It was if the white substance was trying to consume him slowly. It just spread. Though the next thing he knew, he didn't know was possible.
With one last cough he heaved up what he, or anyone else wouldn't have expected. The same white substance that had spilled from his wound had escaped the boy's mouth and seemed as if it would fall to the ground, but it didn't the opposite. It returned and covered the boy's face, most of it anyway. He yelled out in pain and fell back on the ground on his side, he curled up slightly. He was in pain, so much pain. he coughed more, and more of the substance left his mouth and crept on his face. It kept creeping along to cover his face. His right eye had been covered, and his sight had been effectively disabled. All he could see was nothing. But on the outside, his eye was completely black, all but a light blue glow as the iris was there. The rest was black in his eye. His mind felt split.
Though eventually, the substance had taken a unique shape on his face. It had covered Toshiro's face completely. It's shape was similar to a dragon's face. It had sharp teeth with two long sabers, tipped with light blue. Horns had formed on the top outwardly. Blue arrows above the eye gaps and under them decored the covering. He stopped moving. Hitsugaya was no longer there. He was just in the back of his own mind. Something else had effectively become the more prominent mind. Something he didn't think was possible. But whatever had invaded his mind, it had certainly taken permanent residence. The white that had formed through his torso had stopped, but it was nowhere near done. There was still so much to cover. It was like a web along the torso. His spiritual pressure... had effectively become that... of a Hollow's.
He slowly flipped over to face the ground, and lifted himself with his arms out in front of them. He released a snake like hiss. It echoed through the area, making for more of an eerie ambiance to it all. Toshiro, was not there. Yes, it was his body, but, not his mind. What was Toshiro's state of mind was pushed aside for another one. A very animistic, reptilian one. A Hollow's. Black and blue eyes shifted to where Kusaka was, and released a very loud screech, all reptilian. he slowly stood on all four of his limbs and turned his masked head at Kusaka. Then, his body slowly turned, a hiss being released with every move. His main objective now, was to attack this being. To rip him to shreds. He was a new face, and could not be trusted. He was a Soul Reaper, an enemy, He must be eliminated. Without a second thought, he leaped towards Kusaka, has arms outstretched in front of him to grab the man, the jaws of the mask opened to bite down. If he miss, he'd just hit and roll on the ground and screech.
Hitsugaya was effectively changed for the worse. Who would have known.
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Post by Sojiro Kusaka on Nov 28, 2009 14:07:01 GMT -5
Watching, perhaps for the fact he felt it was only right to, he'd pushed the guilt and regret down, they were not emotions he needed, he didn't want them dammit. Whatever he did though it seemed he couldn't dispose of them so well as he'd have wished, they were there, brushing at the edge of him trying force their way back in. A common misconception for him now would be that he had no emotions, that all he felt was anger, how wrong that would be. The foundation behind his anger was everything else. Every thought and feeling he shut down soon turned into anger, something he'd use to drive him, perhaps his problem was that he was in fact to emotional. If he stopped causing himself so much pain... Well things would have been better for him. Yet no, instead he continued his self-destructive path that had now just pulled Hitsugaya along. As he coughed and hacked he simply stood, a cool dark gaze over his face, he was impassive to everything he was saying, so it would all seem to his old friend. He had no doubt just destroyed everything between them, instead now decidedly fostering a coldhearted loathing. That's what he'd believed was there all along though, perhaps as soon as Hitsugaya had made no effort in all this times he believed he'd truly let what they'd once had go. He hadn't lost a friendship, just formed a whole new level of hate.
As the thick white form so heavily associated with hollows leaked from Hitsugaya's wound a faux sneer of satisfaction was thrown up. He'd warned him, he really had... He'd wanted so much for him to take the first option so as if only to avoid this. He had no satisfaction at all in doing it, more than anything he just felt wrong. Oh he was a monster, some damn beast whose only purpose was to rip and destroy, he could rationalize it all... Just not accept it. He was still damn well Sojiro Kusaka, and this was Toshiro Hitsugaya, between them it had never been meant to come to this, but it had. There was nothing at all he could do about it now, as soon as he'd broken the wall of hollow and soul reaper there'd been no going back, no changing what he'd done. His life had once more changed for the worst, and this was so distinctly his fault. A fact that made it all the worse was that through some damn bastard trick his first desire was to give aid! He wanted to step forward and offer damn well support! What the hell was wrong with him? How could he be so utterly stupid as that?! It seemed... Well it seemed that whilst you could teach an old dog a new trick you couldn't change their heart. Blacken and break it, but leave a semblance and somewhere there was something more. Something that damn contradicted who the person now fought to be. Fate was a cruel mistress.
He heaved, and then white followed, the same thick liquid that was spreading from his chest. Watching morbidly as it slung down before rearing back up, utterly defying gravity. Had he acknowledged the fact he had a heart it would have broken, shattered so utterly that there would have been nothing left, as it was there was just a dull pain, and that he could put on so many other factors within his life. Had this really been worth it? He wasn't sure... He was confused... So utterly confused. He wanted Hitsugaya there, it was something he'd wanted for so long, and yet he'd known... Or perhaps thought he'd known... That he'd be rejected, that he'd be pushed away. It was this that had destroyed his option to just sit and talk it through with the boy, he felt he'd known the answer and outcome. That had hurt, and made him so damn angry, he always seemed to work on raw emotions in times like this, he didn't think. His intelligence was obviously still there, the plot he'd concocted was good no matter how you looked at it. He was more than able to think things through, but he'd become almost feral, lashing out when hurt or threatened before thinking. It was a defensive trait, something that had kept him alive for so long, he was reluctant to let it go.
As Hitsugaya keeled over with a cry of pain his damn heart clenched, Shiro was in agony... And he'd caused it... With a snarl, trying to shake off such thoughts, he snapped his head sharply to the side, ignoring it all once more via simply not looking. This should not have hurt him too, it should not have! He was just some ghost, he wasn't meant to care anymore, he didn't want to! And yet he did... He cared enough to look back, feigning it to only be through curiosity. He'd done this and now he was going to make himself damn well watch, he'd seen this all before, the white leaking from facial orphases. Of course he'd seen it, he'd had to get a grip on this thing before he'd even contemplate using it on Hitsugaya. This time though it was just so different, and he didn't at all care for it. With a huffing snarl he rubed his hand down along his face, he couldn't deny what he'd done, nor would he do so outwardly. In his mind though it would once more pushed down with every other regret, only this time he was sure the dam cracked, his emotions now pushing all the harder for attention. Perhaps in one of the few turns of luck he'd ever had though they were stayed, kept down in submission for now. The damage... It was done though and already there was a dull leak.... He hoped it would never damn become more than this.
As the boy wretched again, more white spilling from his mouth he fought every single desire to turn away, he'd not, he owed the boy this much at least. It was the closest to an apology he was likely ever going to get, and it would no doubt go unheard. He'd destroyed his own voice on this matter, it was all his fault. The severity of what he'd done was almost crushing, the weight of it all, of all this pain and regret, was near as heavy as when he'd been banished... For this to be on par with that.... For him to cause this kind of pain, also knowing his was incomparable to Toshiro's, for him to have to.... The thoughts weren't worth it, what was the point? He couldn't change it, what's done is done, there was no going back and this it was not something he would dwell on. He'd just make as if the thoughts were not there, after all, so long as he ignored them for long enough they would perhaps simply go. Or perhaps it was just a fact that life didn't work like that, especially when he fully intended to keep his mistake close by. He would not let the boy leave him this time, for two main reasons, one because.... Well a part of Sojiro wanted him close, wanted him to be a part of this... And then the other being the one he was least likely to admit to, the fact he didn't want a damn soul reaper to kill him. He couldn't fix this mess, and so he'd live with it.
The form the mask took, it shouldn't really have surprised him all that much... It was dragonesc, perhaps in reminiscence of Hyorinmaru's spirit. Yes, he was hardly shocked about it, but still hated it. This face.... It did not suit Hitsugaya, in ho way shape or form did it actually fit the boy he knew. Damn.... Flicking violet eyes back to meet glowing blue he watched closely as he lifted himself up, evidently taking a more quadrupedal style. As a hiss rolled out Kusaka frowned... Hitsugaya was gone... Replaced by this monstrosity Kusaka himself had forced on him. What he found strange though was the fact that his hollow was dumb the sharp hissing and screeching, there was no coherence, it was just like an animal plain and simple. Perhaps there was an irony that one so intelligent was now so utterly instinctual, intellect didn't even come into the equation any longer. As he lept Kusaka stepped away, a frown on his face. The howl of rage, sanity was no longer in this, Kusaka had removed it... Still... With a sigh he folded his arms. It was just a hollow, it was in Hitsugaya yes, using his body yes, but this was just a hollow, thus something for him to control.
Walking toward the hollow his face looked all to stern, no reminiscent of pain there. “Don't do that, don't attack.” It was clearly an order, one that was just... well there was nothing to it, it was just kinda there really. “Now calm down.” Reaching a hand out to put it on the mask he just sighed, he'd not leave him like this for long, soon enough he'd just haul the mask off himself. His goal was not to let him suffer this to long, rather manifest a base of control. It was such a terrible way, but he'd never have gotten Hitsugaya to stay otherwise... He knew that... But still. “You will do as I say,” he ordered flatly, all the authority of a teacher with a child. In a strange sense everything he'd said had an odd twisting to it, an indescribable undertone. It hardly mattered, had it not been for the fact he damn wanted to establish his control now he'd have ripped the mask right off. But no, he needed the hollow to firmly take hold, to fully develop itself within him. He loathed the idea, had he been able there was every chance he'd rip the hollow from him here and now. That was not an option, not a method he could use. No, instead he'd gain utter dominance and crush the creature down until he needed it, if he were to slip up and leave this until later it would be harder for both of them. This would not be allowed. He'd done enough damage, he'd hit the very peak of it, there was no need to cause more.
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Toshiro Hitsugaya
Captain
"Swinging a sword out of duty alone is what a captain must do."
Posts: 57
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Post by Toshiro Hitsugaya on Nov 29, 2009 23:11:04 GMT -5
All the pain he had just experienced, the burning emotions that were just flaring up within him moments ago, it had all passed. It was all forgotten as the new mind took over. It had one thing on its agenda right now, and that was to utterly rip apart the an that stood before it. It wasn't sure why, but it wanted to with all pf it's beastly heart. His fingers curled up and griped the ground as he let out a hiss. No, this as not Toshiro Hitsugaya, the "wonder boy of the Soul Society", the captain of the tenth division, a Soul Reaper. Right now, he was none of these things. Just a monster. A creature that ate the souls of the living and dead. Just an animal. Something to be slain. He embodied what he sought to extinguish and rid of. Despite having the body of a Soul Reaper, he downed the mask of a Hollow, and the min of a Hollow. But while this form wasn't suffering anything, Hitsugaya was still in his mind, it was suffering something close to a hell with burning infernos.
As of now, the boy was just a figment of nothing. the Hollow that occupied his mind ignored the fact Toshiro was still there. Whenever the boy tried to beak through once more, the vileness pushed him many fields away. This was so fresh, so vile, and so new. It's power over his mind was so great. Hitsugaya was no used to it. He could not fight back. This was the first time. No way could he break through on his own. The power though, the power was something that someone with ill-intention would be proud of. The Hollow augmented the boy's already excellent ability. It had added more. Despite it all, Hitsugaya could still feel what was going on with his own body, and he could feel it. The new found, great strength surging through his body. It was all being stored, and not released. It was something that he could not compare it to. It was such a strange feeling, but, he couldn't use such power.The Hollow was using it.
But not all of it. The now-hybrid being rolled on the ground and released a frustrated screech. It quickly stood back on it's quadrupedal form and curled his fingers to grip the ground more. Regardless of the outward actions and noises it gave off, it still had intelligence. It wasn't just a mindless beast. It simply lacked the ability to talk and communicate as a more humanoid Hollow would. It wasn't stupid, it just couldn't get the message across. But even though this was said, it acted off of instinct as well. It would be described as a smart animal. But even then, regardless, a very smart animal, most of the time, still paled in comparison with that of a human, which was most likely the case here. At the moment though, it had no clue what was going on. It was all to sudden for it. Everything was so new to it. This was its first moments of existing. It's mind was in complete chaos and confusion, which furthered the outward rage it was displaying. It was a new division of Toshiro's soul, which had been corrupted and altered by the strange sphere which the man before it used. Toshiro might know who the man was, but not the Hollow. Not at all. It was why it screeched loudly at the black haired man as he spoke. It was not just in warding him off or scaring him, it was in defiance. He would not listen to this man so easily. Who was he to give orders to the likes of it? It was a Soul Reaper, nothing special. That's all it knew.
“Don't do that, don't attack.”
His words were so tuned to something close to a monotoned, authoritive voice. It hissed once more. It would not listen to quickly. It was not so trusting. It would not let this man control it so easily. It was not weak. It was more than just that. So much more. Weak was an insulting word, it knew that much. He took a step forward and a deep growl escaped it's white, toothed maw. Toshiro's voice, had been altered. Had it been speaking normal human speech, his voice would have been twisted and altered into something more rugged and static-like, not quite electronic, but just modified into something more echo-ish, with a raspy ring to it. It was what his voice sounded like now, as the beast used his vocal chords to make the reptilian noises it tried to mimic. The man's next command was something that he would not abide by. Unless this an showed that he was not a threat for a bit longer, then maybe, but until then, it would not.
“Now calm down.”
It had purposely let the man place a hand on it's masked face. It wanted to just tear his arm off. It twisted it's head around with jaws agape and tried to have his jaws close down the man's limb, and it would close down hard. If not, then oh well. It was a warning. He would not touch it. He was not allowed. He as not given the right yet. The monster's instincts and intellect were telling it that this man was something not to be so easily trusted. For one, it was a Soul Reaper; it may just easily dispose of it. Second, this man just had the kind of face that would make any dog snarl. All in all, he was not a welcoming man. And the man's next order, was not something it would tolerate. But in the end, it felt something within it that wanted to just obey. Something about that man told it to listen. But this was just a very small portion. Unless it was exposed, it wouldn't be so easy to crush this creature down into a simple tool.
“You will do as I say.”
In utter defiance in screeched something terrible, jaws gape. Birds suddenly took too the skies which were now filled with the feathered creatures, desperately trying to find escape from the noise and threat. It raised it's spiritual pressure at it's peak. The environment around them altered slightly. To anyone who didn't know what was going on, they would have figured it was someone of captain-class, yet at the same time, felt almost exactly like a Hollow's. While the monster controlled the young boy's mind, a majority of his spiritual pressure was much like a Hollow's, and the minority of a Soul Reapers. The opposite though, was that his spiritual pressure was completely normal, save for a few whiffs of Hollow if he did not tame it. Though right now, that hardly mattered. The energy of the beast had added to Hitsugaya's already very high energy, which would make any subordinate's knees bend. Spiritual energy such as this would make them fall over, and not be able to get up. A hissed echoed out as t crouched low to the ground. It was ready to leap at the man again, despite it's previous failure. It would not allow for such now, and even if it did, it would keep trying until this man learned his place, or the man bent the creature so far it would have no choice to obey. Those were the options, and now fate had to pick one of them.
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